Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I was a fan of last year’s KISS OF THE DRAGON, a film I that I thought was entirely inconsequential, but loads of fun while watching it. Now that it’s in heavy rotation on HBO, I find myself stopping to watch key sequences whenever I flip by it. Knowing that Robert Mark Kamen and Luc Besson are behind THE TRANSPORTER as well, I must admit, I’m intrigued. The trailer is ludicrous fun, and the word I’m hearing from action fans who have seen it is...
... well, let’s see what it is. First up, we’ve got General Chaos with his take on things:
Hey Harry,
Real quick, I want to say great site, keep kicking ass!
So I went to a screening of THE TRANSPORTER and I thought I'd weigh in on it. Can't say it's the best movie I've seen all year, but this well-made actioner is worth a look for fans of Besson, Corey Yuen's Hong Kong flicks, or just cinematic ass-kickers in general. You can call me "Gen. Chaos," by the way...
Like its hard-headed title character, THE TRANSPORTER likes to keep things simple, following a predetermined code of conduct: don't ask question or get personally involved. Very one-dimensional, sure, but it's not without a few thrills in its brisk, action-loaded 90-some-minute running time. Unfortunately, the movie's main flaw is that unlike its (anti-)hero, it stubbornly refuses to break any of its own rules, adhering to the fairly stale action genre conventions.
The cast of characters is, without exception, quite lacking in the originality department. The protagonist, Frank Martin, is played by Jason Statham with a certain steely-eyed gusto, but with little real personality. Matt Schulze, entertainingly Euro-trashy portrays the main villain in the picture, who, like Darth Vader and practically every action flick bad guy since the beginning of time, proves by killing an underling that he is, without a doubt, one Very Bad Dude. The other characters are just as clichéd: the doe-eyed damsel in distress (DEDID) whom the lead at first ignores, but is eventually captivated by. There's the troublesome investigator, who is always one step behind the main character, but eventually proves sympathetic. And who could forget the dastardly scheming old man, father of said DEDID.
Finally, this just wouldn't be say "action flick" without the droves of enemy thugs who exist mainly as punching bags for the good guy. Of the tens of thousands of shots fired by these mindless malefactors, there are, to my count, exactly zero (0) hits on target. Such is life for a pistol-packing ruffian who dares aim his weapon at the film's resilient (not to mention sure-shot) transporter.
Anyone who walks into the theater looking for a ground-breaking piece of work will likely be disappointed. Its plot serves mostly as a means to show people chasing each other around in expensive German cars through narrow European streets, pointing firearms at one another and making vague threats, and battling in highly-choreographed hand-to-hand combat. I should say that for the most part, the testosterone-driven sequences are executed with enough precision and flair that the almost non-existent storyline is nearly justified in its quasi-absence. Briefly, it's a guy-meets-girl (in his car trunk), guy-falls-for-girl, guy-loses-girl kind of story.
If I must divulge a few plot points, it's about hard-boiled, no-nonsense veteran criminal who, against his instinct, enters into a relationship with a young woman (a bit like Leon in Besson's THE PROFESSIONAL). This relationship, however tenuous at first, complicates his life to the nth-degree. If you've seen the trailer, you already know what I'm talking about. The guys who hired the transporter to uh,… transport the young Chinese woman named Lai, unleash all hell on the unsuspecting carrier when they find out that he, *gasp* opened the package. How exactly they determine this, I'm not sure. It may have been from the little hole he cut in the duct tape on her mouth to give the DEDID a sip of juice. See, he's not just a Heartless Criminal. Anyway, after the title character's house became the receptacle for thousands of rounds of ammunition, and a few bazooka shells, he and Lai snorkel past the beautiful underwater shoreline. It's a good thing he happened to have two sets scuba gear ready for him. It's odd too, considering his apparently very strong commitment to bachelorhood.
As I said, few if any of the action scenes are particularly innovative, but all of them are done with a distinct ease and finesse. I especially enjoyed the big, sloppy brawl in the oil spill. The explosions were pretty tight too. (If that's not a statement worthy of an ad blurb, I don't know what is…) Unfortunately, the deflect-the-missile-with-the-dinner-tray scene from the table didn't make the cut I saw, for whatever reason (too unbelievable?- that's just the kind of thing this movie needed more of…). And even worse, screenwriters Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, who had worked on KISS OF THE DRAGON and THE FIFTH ELEMENT together, saddle this movie with the absolute most hackneyed, trite, done-a-million-times-before ending imaginable. Try to think of the most unsurprising way to end a movie… yeah, that's what they did. Sigh.
I think this is a good show for a matinee when you feel like turning off your brain for an hour and a half to watch some quality ass kicking take place on the big screen.
Until next time,
Gen. Chaos
Okay. Fair enough. Let’s see what our next reviewer has to say:
100 words on The Transporter
As the Transporter parachuted onto a moving truck convoy during the last act, my moviegoing companion leaned over to me and yawned, “it’s like all the action movies I’ve ever seen put together.”
It’s part over the top Hong Kong choreography (courtesy of veteran director Yuen), part Jackie Chan fist-fighting fun (a candelabra! a sweater!) and part Jacques Cousteau underwater documentary, set in the countryside of France and backed by an intrusive, irritating and out-of-place hip hop soundtrack. In order to satisfy any Francophile fight film urges, save yourself some time and rent last year's Kiss of the Dragon instead.
sign me as 'el chuntaro equis'
Oof. Didn’t anyone like this? How about we hear from one of our busiest new spies, The Pole Of Justice?
Heya...PoleOfJustice here, with some spoilers, although "spoiling" this film is like saying you've "spoiled" a Bond film by mentioning the bad guy dies in the end.
Great Googly-Goddamned-Moogly do I love THE TRANSPORTER. Maybe it's because I've seen nothing but shit for the past month (even the three films I rented last week, THE RING VIRUS, HORROR HOTLINE, and GO GO SECOND TIME VIRGIN, were middling at best, and Godawful at worst.) Maybe because of this I'm susceptible, but shit, whatever it is, I'll take it.
THE TRANSPORTER is about a muscular bald guy and a hot Asian chick who have sex and blow shit up. That's the plot.
What makes this film what it is, is the sheer forward momentum displayed from the word go. From the utterly stupefying car chase sequence that opens the film, anyone paying attention will have gotten the message: this is a Road Runner cartoon. Yes, I know that there are real people on the screen and stuff, but really... I half expected to see an Acme box in with the copious amounts of conveniently placed firepower that are on display throughout the film. There is a blatant and seemingly intentional disregard for feasibility: one sequence has the Transporter (who has a name, but who cares?) being chased by about ten cop cars, only to get away by skillfully manipulating a passing train. The continuity on many of the action sequences is a wreck, but again, it's almost as if the director is daring you to care. I know this sounds like I'm making excuses and glossing over lapses, but really, see the thing for yourself. Everyone involved knows it's utterly ridiculous. That's the joy.
Every bullet in the movie has bright yellow tracers. Machine gun, hand gun, tiny little pea shooter, whatever. Bullets pierce thick walls, but not bad guy bodies, if they're dead and you're using them as a shield. The Transporter and the Hot Asian Chick (I refuse to call them by their character names) are in a house riddled with what look like thousands of bullets, and don't get a scratch. And while Plank is no Jackie Chan, he ain't bad either, and more than a few of the scenes are blatant homages (rip-offs?) of Chan's work. Flipping the gun off the carpet and catching it behind your back, like in one of the ARMOR OF GODs and THE KILLER? Check. Beating up a bunch of guys using clothing? Check. Using opening and closing doors as a means of beating the crap out of bad guys? Check. And on and on. There is an oil spill fight (yes) which had me laughing out loud, which I hadn't done since the end of ROAD TO PERDITION (sadly, I'm not kidding about that one.) This is the last half of HARDBOILED, crossed with PROJECT A. It's as gleefully stupid as THE LAST BOY SCOUT. Accusing THE TRANSPORTER of ripping anything off is like accusing the Supersuckers of ripping off Motorhead: they know. That's the point.
Which leads me to a somewhat paradoxical issue I do have with the film, or rather its inception. Apparently, Luc Besson pulled this concept out from under another production that he was at one time connected with, then rushed out his version. Uncool. Uncool, and frustratingly unnecessary. C'mon, Luc, you could have easily made this film with a million other action movie clichés: hired gun goes straight, mobster goes straight, etc. Why specifically piss on someone's parade?
Whatever. Despite my moral issues with the production in an abstract sense, I'd be lying if I didn't say THE TRANSPORTER kicked my ass. This is what XXX thought it was, without the wince inducing dialogue (I know it's supposed to be stupid, but Samuel L Jackson saying "Let's take it to the next level?" AARGH! Although, I must say the sight of Asia Argento slithering around to that crap industrial band left me gasping for air for a few days afterwards. Yum. But I digress...) Once the film hits its oh-fuck-it-let's-just-blow-shit-up-for-the-rest-of-the-movie point, time flies and I really, really enjoyed myself.
I wish they had kept in the deflecting-the-rocket-with-the-tea-tray scene, as it really would have fit in with the rest of the film's aesthetic. Unrealistic? Well, coyotes don't survive 1000 foot drops into desert canyons, but I don't hear anyone complaining about that. I'm gonna see this a few more times, preferably with a (potentially intoxicated) crowd. Disengage brain, start grinning.
If this was a purely Asian product, everyone would be soiling themselves and squirting soda out their noses about how great it was. But, since there are English speaking people here, and since the kids that beat people up in gym class might like it, there's gonna be a certain cachet to dogging this. The Hell with those people. THE TRANSPORTER stomps enormous ass. Pole out.
There we go! Someone who dug it! Let’s get another positive one up here!
Hello,
I'm a long time reader first time reviewer
A few days ago I had to the chance to see The Transporter playing in Toronto. Now I had seen the trailer before I was asked to the screening and I thought this movie looked ultra cool. I was going in thinking it was going to be a wicked ronin flick but with more ass kicking and an ultra asian hottie thrown into the mix just to make sure I'm interested.
Sitting down in the theatre, the movie starts. The beginning is good starts off with a good chase and a bit of humor.
Then the car chase movie turns into a train wreck.
Basically the trailer for this movie is made using footage from the first 10 minutes of the movie. Frank (Jason Statham) is asked to transport something, so he goes and picks up the package and on the way to delivery his tire blows and he has to get the spare which of course is in the trunk, where we see the package is movie, he opens it up to find an asian hottie (Shu Qi). Then their eyes meet and they play some really bad music, really horrible bad music.
In the first 15 minutes with this scene they have stripped away all of Frank's bad assness. From here on in the movie kind of looks like a romantic comedy set in a Gap commercial.
He lets her out to take a whiz, but she gets away, and then he finds her and brings her back to the car, but theres two cops checking out the plates so he kicks the cops asses. Then drops the package off, and the bad guys ask him to deliver another package and he agrees.
So we see frank at a rest stop having a drink on the way to delivery and he's walking up to his car and it explodes. What the hell is that? A quarter of the way in to the movie and his wicked sweet BMW is blown up, we've only seen one damn car chase and they blow up the car.
So he goes back to the bad dude's house and kicks their asses for trying to kill him. then grabs one of their mercades and drives back home, but guess who's in the backseat, Shu Qi of course! She slipped past the guards and got in the car tied to a chair!
Then they get to his house, he says she can stay or go, she of course stays and starts snooping around in the middle of the night where she finds Frank was ex-military.
So the bad guys come and blow up Franks house. Oh in the trailer where he picks up the plate and defelects the missle, yeah that's been cut out of the movie, you don't see that.
So Frank and Shu (I forget her character's name) get into the basement where they dive into a tub of water that goes into the body of water beside Frank's pad. Now through the whole movie Frank's always saying "I work alone" yet when they get underwater he has a big oxygen tank and 2 mouth pieces and 2 face masks. Why? I thought he worked alone.
So they swim to a house across the way from Frank's where they have sex.
STILL NO CAR CHASES!
In fact there aren't really any car chases, and you never see him driving a cool car again. So some more stuff happens and we find that Shu is the daughter of this really freaky dude with bad teeth who is shipping people from china to other countries and they'd be in transport trucks going through france.
So frank sets out to get help them, the bad guys have a big fight scene with him, a big horrible fight scene. First they chase Frank into a bus where they all pull out pipes (not guns) and frank fights them all off then fights one of the bigger bad guys, then more bad guys with more pipes run in and start fighting him, so frank pulls down a big thing of grease or oil or something and they all start fighting in that then more bad guys come in except these ones actually have guns and frank jumps out a window.
Then he catches up to the bad guys, and fights them and wins the end.
WITH NO CAR CHASES!
The music in this movie was horrid, and there was so much cutting it made me sick. Shu's acting sucked, the fight scenes were pulled out of old jackie chan flicks and the movie was full of plot holes. Save yourself the cash, wait another 14 or so days and go watch Jackass.
Great site Harry, I visit every day thanks for reading my first and probably crappy review.
Billistic
... okay, that didn’t go the way I planned. Hmmm.
Hey Harry--
Saw an advance screening of The Transporter last night here in lovely Los Angeles, at the always ass-kicking ArcLight theatres. Let's get one thing out of the way at the top -- Jason Statham can bring it. There are several sequences of Statham putting foot to ass that are simply spectacular, and had people cheering, clapping, laughing in the incredulous "How cool was that?!" kind of way. There is one sequence in particular in a bus depot that just flat-out rocked. Inventive, explosive, and with a slight dash of humor - just great stuff. What else is good? Statham and the lead woman have an interesting chemistry, that has a couple of nice comic moments. And yup, she's hot.
The one thing that struck me as I left this film was how much better this film could have been if more care had been taken with it. You know that Besson co-wrote and produced it, but if he had only DIRECTED it...it could have been a minor classic. Was I entertained? Undoubtedly. But I wasn't blown away like I wanted to be. Of course, given that this is more or less the same creative team that brought you Kiss of the Dragon, I guess that is to be expected. Don't get me wrong though - this film far exceeds KOTD in every way.
Matt Schulze will be a great villain in a film someday. Unfortunately, this film is not it. He tries his damndest though, but is ultimately hampered by the script. Speaking of the story, we see early on in the film that Schulze can keep up with Statham in the ass-kicking department, so it looks like we have a great set-up for a final fight...which never comes. We also see that Schulze has a henchman, covered in scars, who also is clear challenge for Statham - but that fight never materializes either. The film has a great set-up, but never follows through.
The ending of the film is also a definite let-down - I don't want to give it away, but when watching, ask yourself why Statham picks up the rock in the first place? Also, a huge event takes place in the closing minutes OFFSCREEN, that most definitely should have been onscreen. All I will say is that in an action movie, the climax needs to be in the hands of the main character - imagine the end of Lethal Weapon if Riggs doesn't fight Mr. Joshua on the lawn, but instead a random bystander steps in and takes over. The script is full of little things like that - Statham's character takes an Orangina out of a convenience store fridge, and doesn't pay for it --that take you out of the movie. (BTW, hope you don't mind your blatant product placement either - Pepsi, Orangina, Tiger Beer, and most certainly BMW and Mercedes get a lot of love from the filmmakers. But if Tobey Maguire drinking a Dr. Pepper in Spiderman didn't bother you, this won't either.)
I will give some props to the script...there are some funny exchanges between Statham and his French detective foil, and thankfully, the film only hints in ways at Statham's past, without having to explain it all to us. Which is all the more frustrating - why wasn't the same level of care applied to the whole script? Sigh.
Bascially, this film is entertaining. The strengths outweigh the weaknesses...but the strengths are SO strong, that it really makes you wonder how good this film could have been, if someone had just given a damn about the final overall product. Statham now needs to graduate to the next level of film - The Transporter is the best of this sort of film he can hope for, now he needs to take it up a notch. He needs a Besson-level director, & an A-list writer, to lift him out of this B-movie miasma. After his performance here, he should be able to find such projects. Here's hoping.
You can call me...Charles De Mar.
That was good. Better, anyway. Anyone else?
moriarty and co
Man, was I irritated when I heard they were bumping back this movie, but I lucked out getting passes to the sneak last night!
Bro, his friend and a friend of mine walked out SOOOOO satisfied that we REALLY can't wait to see this again. I will keep this spoiler-free because this one of those movies that REALLY needs to be enjoyed first-hand.
Quick impressions: Jason Stratham NEEDS to be James Bond. PERIOD! I have no clue what percentage of his stunts were not him, but in virtually all the fights it was almost undiscernible! He has got the moves. But more importantly, he has that detachment that Connery gave the role that he could be a smooth motha with the women and wholly convincing kicking booty a scene later!
The driving, which should be the focus of a movie called "transporter," is fairly decent. What I really preferred is that he is a "transporter" in the sense that he gets WHATEVER, HOWEVER... not just with his FLY beemer!
The fight sequences were... INSANE... but what do you expect from Yuen?? I don't wanna ruin a single one because there were some TRULY interest takes on previous ideas that really paid off. (on e question, WAS THAT OIL??)
My brother thought this was almost a comedy, but I reminded him... Besson, Europe... they expect this.
Best of all, there is some REAL characterization to the leads in this movie! Virtually all of it was understated and inferred, but what can you expect from an action movie with a 90 minute running time?? Speaking of which, there was a nice ebb and flow to the action, interposed with scenes to break the franticness and give you some insight into Frank, the transporter, Li, the girl in trouble... and Tarconi, the french cop friend of Frank.
There are common Besson themes here... but it works... The action coupled with the story reminded me of what "The Big Hit" SHOULD HAVE BEEN a few years ago. Considering the budget on this, I wont be surprised considering the PUSHBACK that this doesnt EASILY make back and then some! I would be sure that Besson could do a sequel, considering his Taxi series, but after this, Stratham might be too expensive!!
Two last quick notes: this was OBVIOUSLY cut to get the PG-13 they wanted and honestly, despite a few obvious edits it works, which should help the box office on this. Can't wait to see the DVD!
Finally, i was ALMOST shocked when the titles were rolling and i recognized the sounds of Stanley Clarke! This man, who did an excellent job with Undisputed a few weeks ago, just was PERFECT!!! It was different, yet fitting that his music was used for this flick! He seemed slightly experimental in some parts but relied on his regular style for tha majority of the flick, but his thumping bass style gave the action sequences an interesting but appropriate flavor!
Cant remotely recommend this one enough, its not perfect mind you... ill let you spot the holes, but for sheer fun and GREAT action sequences, this one should really propel Stratham stratospherically (yeah, just thought of it, but its true!) Can't wait for the REAL release date now!
You can call me pezme
Okay. One last one. This time, from an old school AICNer, the one and only Disturbed. Take it home, man...
So, I saw Cory Yuen's THE TRANSPORTER and thought I'd jot off a quick review. I don't know much about Yuen other than he directed some Jet Li movies, some of which which I may or may not have seen. But I knew Luc Besson cowrote and coproduced it so I figured it was probably of some merit. And that's exactly what it is: of some merit.
Like this summer's XXX, THE TRANSPORTER is a ludicrous, over-the-top action movie whose only concern is to entertain. However it succeeds in many places where that sluggish, sense-deadening monstrosity failed. It's not as long. It doesn't slow down so much (apart from a couple lovey dovey scenes including one strange scuba diving interlude that appeared to be shot partially on video, for some reason). And it doesn't completely desensitize you. Jason Statham isn't as charismatic as Vin is, but the character's cool. Come to think of it, Statham comes off as sort of a british Bruce Willis more than anything, but maybe that's just the stubble.
Oh yes, the character is Frank Martin, he's a... Transporter. He's a helluva stunt driver, basically, and for a price he'll put anything in his car you ask, and deliver it to wherever you want, no questions asked. He's a very organized man and he doesn't break his three cardinal rules. Until, of course, he does. He opens the bag he's to deliver, to find a very attractive female (Qi Shu, who needs to be in more American* movies. I mean, stone fox that one.) tied up inside. What do you know, criminal and feisty young woman teaming up in a Luc Besson movie!
Anyhow, the film should remind you of all those old 80s action movies. There are a lot of novel Jackie-Chanisms and set pieces but they're interspersed with generic action movie cliches. Which is kind of fun in a way. The movie starts with a, like, 15 minute chase scene which ends with Our Hero...uh, driving across a train track and then a train comes. Crazy stunts and neat choreography abound. Yuen choreographed it himself, and I like a lot of it, although his style in filming both the fights and the chase scenes was a little too tight for me. I wanted him to open it up so I could see more of what's going on. It wasn't as bad as Gladiator or anything, it just felt a little too restrictive and tense. Which was probably intentional. Whatever.
There's this whole underexplained thing about slavery and so on but it's all an excuse to crash cars and grip the underside of big-rigs, as expected. The supporting cast includes American Guy You Dislike Immediately, and the ever-popular Ric Young, looking more terrifying than ever. He looks like Liza Minelli's new husband. Also, several cameos by Orangina, the orange soda french people love.
In the end, I guess it was ok. There's some stuff that's funny and isn't meant to be, but there are a whole lot of legitimate "Holy shit, that car just exploded immediately on impact" laughs too. It's probably worth seeing for the bit with the oil alone. All I've got to say is: Why are there bikes? So sure, go see it, but catch a cheap matinee and get liquored up.
-Disturbed
*I know, it's French. Shut up.
The concensus seems to be... that there isn’t one. I wish they hadn’t pushed this back so we could be seeing it right now, but I guess I can wait a little longer to check it out for m’self.
"Moriarty" out.
