“You don’t need Scooby Doo to solve this mystery!”
-- “Last Comic Standing” contestant Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
So how odd would it be if semi-famous comedians like Jim Norton, Will Durst, and Sue Costello were passed up by “Last Comic Standing” in favor of Ant?
Highlight the invisotext to learn which ten got into the house:
1. Alonzo Bodden
Big black bearded bald
“They sold me a duvet cover. And I don’t have a duvet!” “Do you have a comforter?” “Yeah.” “Well you gotta protect it!” “I didn’t know it was under attack!” “Yeah, Colin, because black people don’t use sheets.”
2. Todd Glass
Flintstonesque
“She laughed. She laughed so hard she punched me in the uterus.”
3. Gary Gulman
6’6” Jew
“They always say the same thing: ‘How tall is the milkman?’ At this point I just go along with them, ‘Yeah, my mom was with the milkman. She only dates guys with professions that no longer exist. That’s her thing, yeah. She dated the milkman for a while, before that she was involved with a cobbler. The chimney sweep, chim-chim-cheroo. The town crier, hear ye hear ye. She dated the blacksmith for a fortnight, just a fortnight. She even dated the muffin man; do you know the muffin man?”
4. John Heffron
Irishy
”I’m at that age where I see the commercial for Craftmaster adjustable bed and go, ‘Sweet! Are you kidding me? You mean I can sleep in the shape of a U? Or the Van Halen sign? Hell yeah!’ Van Halen was a band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. We used to draw the symbol on our trapper-keepers.”
5. Cory Holcomb
Heavyset black guy in hat
“I look at other women all the time. I know how to do it. All you have to do is talk bad about the cute chick, you can look at her all you want. … ‘How is she out here with her breasts all out like that? That is disrespectful. Let me ask her why she got that on like that.’”
6. Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
Fireplug-like homosexual
“Gay people think everyone is gay. Matt Damon: gay. Tom Cruise: gay. You notice they only claim the attractive ones? You never hear a gay guy going, ‘Danny DeVito: gay. Al Roker: had him.’”
7. Jay London
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Highlight the invisotext to learn which ten got into the house:
1. Alonzo Bodden
Big black bearded bald
“They sold me a duvet cover. And I don’t have a duvet!” “Do you have a comforter?” “Yeah.” “Well you gotta protect it!” “I didn’t know it was under attack!” “Yeah, Colin, because black people don’t use sheets.”
2. Todd Glass
Flintstonesque
“She laughed. She laughed so hard she punched me in the uterus.”
3. Gary Gulman
6’6” Jew
“They always say the same thing: ‘How tall is the milkman?’ At this point I just go along with them, ‘Yeah, my mom was with the milkman. She only dates guys with professions that no longer exist. That’s her thing, yeah. She dated the milkman for a while, before that she was involved with a cobbler. The chimney sweep, chim-chim-cheroo. The town crier, hear ye hear ye. She dated the blacksmith for a fortnight, just a fortnight. She even dated the muffin man; do you know the muffin man?”
4. John Heffron
Irishy
”I’m at that age where I see the commercial for Craftmaster adjustable bed and go, ‘Sweet! Are you kidding me? You mean I can sleep in the shape of a U? Or the Van Halen sign? Hell yeah!’ Van Halen was a band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. We used to draw the symbol on our trapper-keepers.”
5. Cory Holcomb
Heavyset black guy in hat
“I look at other women all the time. I know how to do it. All you have to do is talk bad about the cute chick, you can look at her all you want. … ‘How is she out here with her breasts all out like that? That is disrespectful. Let me ask her why she got that on like that.’”
6. Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
Fireplug-like homosexual
“Gay people think everyone is gay. Matt Damon: gay. Tom Cruise: gay. You notice they only claim the attractive ones? You never hear a gay guy going, ‘Danny DeVito: gay. Al Roker: had him.’”
7. Jay London
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Big black bearded bald
“They sold me a duvet cover. And I don’t have a duvet!” “Do you have a comforter?” “Yeah.” “Well you gotta protect it!” “I didn’t know it was under attack!” “Yeah, Colin, because black people don’t use sheets.”
2. Todd Glass
Flintstonesque
“She laughed. She laughed so hard she punched me in the uterus.”
3. Gary Gulman
6’6” Jew
“They always say the same thing: ‘How tall is the milkman?’ At this point I just go along with them, ‘Yeah, my mom was with the milkman. She only dates guys with professions that no longer exist. That’s her thing, yeah. She dated the milkman for a while, before that she was involved with a cobbler. The chimney sweep, chim-chim-cheroo. The town crier, hear ye hear ye. She dated the blacksmith for a fortnight, just a fortnight. She even dated the muffin man; do you know the muffin man?”
4. John Heffron
Irishy
”I’m at that age where I see the commercial for Craftmaster adjustable bed and go, ‘Sweet! Are you kidding me? You mean I can sleep in the shape of a U? Or the Van Halen sign? Hell yeah!’ Van Halen was a band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. We used to draw the symbol on our trapper-keepers.”
5. Cory Holcomb
Heavyset black guy in hat
“I look at other women all the time. I know how to do it. All you have to do is talk bad about the cute chick, you can look at her all you want. … ‘How is she out here with her breasts all out like that? That is disrespectful. Let me ask her why she got that on like that.’”
6. Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
Fireplug-like homosexual
“Gay people think everyone is gay. Matt Damon: gay. Tom Cruise: gay. You notice they only claim the attractive ones? You never hear a gay guy going, ‘Danny DeVito: gay. Al Roker: had him.’”
7. Jay London
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
6’6” Jew
“They always say the same thing: ‘How tall is the milkman?’ At this point I just go along with them, ‘Yeah, my mom was with the milkman. She only dates guys with professions that no longer exist. That’s her thing, yeah. She dated the milkman for a while, before that she was involved with a cobbler. The chimney sweep, chim-chim-cheroo. The town crier, hear ye hear ye. She dated the blacksmith for a fortnight, just a fortnight. She even dated the muffin man; do you know the muffin man?”
4. John Heffron
Irishy
”I’m at that age where I see the commercial for Craftmaster adjustable bed and go, ‘Sweet! Are you kidding me? You mean I can sleep in the shape of a U? Or the Van Halen sign? Hell yeah!’ Van Halen was a band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. We used to draw the symbol on our trapper-keepers.”
5. Cory Holcomb
Heavyset black guy in hat
“I look at other women all the time. I know how to do it. All you have to do is talk bad about the cute chick, you can look at her all you want. … ‘How is she out here with her breasts all out like that? That is disrespectful. Let me ask her why she got that on like that.’”
6. Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
Fireplug-like homosexual
“Gay people think everyone is gay. Matt Damon: gay. Tom Cruise: gay. You notice they only claim the attractive ones? You never hear a gay guy going, ‘Danny DeVito: gay. Al Roker: had him.’”
7. Jay London
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Heavyset black guy in hat
“I look at other women all the time. I know how to do it. All you have to do is talk bad about the cute chick, you can look at her all you want. … ‘How is she out here with her breasts all out like that? That is disrespectful. Let me ask her why she got that on like that.’”
6. Anthony “Ant” Kallonatis
Fireplug-like homosexual
“Gay people think everyone is gay. Matt Damon: gay. Tom Cruise: gay. You notice they only claim the attractive ones? You never hear a gay guy going, ‘Danny DeVito: gay. Al Roker: had him.’”
7. Jay London
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Hugely-muscled longhair
“You may recognize me: I’m the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart. I went into the music store today. I asked for 50 Cent and they threw me out for panhandling. It’s over in two minutes, sir. Let me move over here.”
8. Kathleen Madigan
Attractive, if soccer-momish
“Voting in this country is a ridiculous pain in the ass. I gotta find some elementary school under a Moose Lodge behind a donut shop.”
9. Bonnie McFarlane
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Young, blonde and pretty
“People say, ‘Bonnie, how do you stay so trim?’ 1) I always take the stairs. Always. 2) Anorexic. My agent told me to stop doing that joke. I said, ‘Why?’ ‘You’re not exactly a stick.’ That’s where it starts, that’s where the seed is planted. Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke.”
10. Tammy Pascatelli
Hot little Sicilian
“Not all Sicilians are in the Mob; some are in the witness-protection program. … ‘Pop, I just shot a pilot.’ He says, ‘Oh my God! Don’t say that over the phone!’ ‘No, Pop, a TV pilot.’ ‘I don’t care what airline he works for, you call me back on a payphone.’”
Who gets cut in Vegas this week?
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Dan Ahdoot
Very short dark hair
“I’m getting something off my chest because it seems to be a real crowd-pleaser lately: I’m Iranian. Doesn’t usually get a round of applause.”
D.C. Benny
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Very short dark hair
”I have a tough time catching a cab in New York, getting them to slow down. They slow down, the window cracks, and then there’s this ethnicity check. ‘Let me refer to the chart. Giant Mexican. No.’”
Sue Costello
Bleating thirtysomething blonde
“I learned if a guy tells you he’s a jerk, you should probably listen. … We turn into codependent cheerleaders. He’s like, ‘I’m a jerk,’ I’m like ‘No you’re not!’”
Irina Franklin
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Cute black
“ ‘Shut it up, my little motherfucker, shut it up.’ I looked at her, I was, ‘Oh my God, you don’t talk to a little child like that.’ She looked at me, she said, ‘What the hell you lookin’ at? You want to raise my child?’ I said, 'No.'”
Monty Hoffmann
Old, bald cancer survivor
“This one Mormon had eight wives. I don’t even have a girlfriend. I had this one woman live with me for 14 days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got free. She was a keeper.”
Kerri Louise
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Way too cute for husband and fellow contestant Tom Cotter
“I got a job as a lifeguard; you sit there all day bored out of your mind. No one ever drowns. Well, this one girl did, but I couldn’t save her because I just ate.”
Jessica Kirson
Plus-size mop-topped eyebrow-contorter
“Don’t I look like a Thankgiving Day balloon when I make that face?”
Dan Naturman
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Cross between Jon Cryer and Josh Malina
”Just a word to the ladies, I don’t get the whole fake phone-number thing. I don’t get the point. Can’t you just say, ‘I got a boyfriend’? Don’t get me all excited with a phone number, and then I call up and it’s a Chinese restaurant. Alright. It’s annoying. Nothing’s worse than that. You call up. ‘Hunan Garden.’ ‘Uh, I don’t suppose Lisa’s there? No? Well, then I guess I’ll have the chicken with broccoli then, as long as I got you on the phone. Chicken with broccoli with a light brown sauce, if you wouldn’t mind.'”
Jim Norton
Pale, shaven-headed “Tough Crowd” semiregular
“Aspen closes at 10 o’clock, because they’re all yuppie douchebags. ‘Gotta get up early, get on the slopes!’ So it’s 2 a.m., I’m starving, there’s nothing open, I call an escort service. Maybe she’ll have a snack in her purse. And if you think New York or L.A. or any city you want to mention is expensive, Aspen was vile. So I’m on the phone, ‘How much is it to see someone?’ And the woman’s like ‘$3000.’ And I’m like, ‘What?’ And she’s like, “Well, she’s really pretty.’ ‘Ah! What does that mean? Do I get to cut off her head and keep it? So I can show my landlord why I’m not paying rent?’”
Tim Young
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
"I thought it was crooked and dishonest.”
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
"As panel judges, we can say that (a) we were both surprised and disappointed at the results and (b) we had NOTHING to do with them.”
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
“One thing for sure is it wasn’t about who was the funniest.... It wasn’t a big misunderstanding. It was a big deception.”
According to our spy “Polar”:
Ant “bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy?”
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
Carey and Butler "were never there to pick who’s going into the house. It was pretty clear they were not clear what their roles were.”
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
… conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house!
I found it interesting to see that the editing made it look like all
these
comics went through the "open call" process, waiting in the cold for a
chance at stardom... I can tell you that this certainly was NOT the
case -
there's no way guys like Todd Glass and Pablo Francisco were gonna wait
outside the clubs at 4am! In truth, there were actually *2* sets of
auditions in most of the cities - the open call audition, which was
held in
the mornings through the early afternoon, and then the "requested"
comics,
who booked individual audition times later in the day. These were the
folks
whose managers had submitted tapes to NBC weeks in advance, and were
specifically requested by NBC to appear to "audition" (which was mainly
for
the purpose of filming... since they were pretty much all going to
advance
at least to the regional callbacks).
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
NBC wanted to use as many of the Season 1
contestants as they could, which is why folks like Vos and Tess got to
judge... as for Dave Mordal, there IS a lot of Season 2 footage of him
floating around out there - you might get to see some of it during the
final
episode, I'm guessing. He was the "celebrity interviewer" for the
Tonight
Show during the LA LCS open call auditions (they aired a bit of it on
Leno
back in January) - they got a lot of tape of him messing around with
the LA
comics, both good and bad... funny stuff.
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
“Want to hear something really crazy,
though?
You know how long that stripper had been doing comedy when she
auditioned
for Bob and Ross? 1 DAY. That's right... her LCS audition was her FIRST
TIME
DOING COMEDY. She thought it would be "a good chance to get some TV
exposure"... mission accomplished.
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
… the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year … and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros.
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
Viggo lite
“I had a girlfriend who would yell at me for it. ‘I can’t here you. What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal?’ I was scared, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have been standing so far away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from the CIA. So I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’”
How was Ant chosen over Jim Norton? This is something “Last Comic Standing’s” judg... er, "talent scouts" might like to know as well.
According to new Coaxial News spy “Polar,” who claims (and seems) to have a great deal of familiarity with the situation, it was the advancement of Ant into the house that served as the catalyst for “Last Comic Standing” Las Vegas judges Drew Carey and Brett Butler to walk out in protest.
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
According to a Reuters story, the judg... er "talent scouts'" decisions were overruled by NBC executives and producers. Carey’s spokesperson says Carey and the other judg... er "talent scouts" did not learn until after the fact that their votes were not the deciding factor. Carey told Reuters:
According to Brett Butler on her Web site:
One unidentified contestant told Reuters:
According to our spy “Polar”:
Hi, Polar. Yes, you can. If you send the show to the network "sweetening" suite, where a laugh track can be added if the audience actually can't be bothered to laugh. According to NBC programming exec Jeff Gaspin:
One wonders if Colin Quinn and the other pre-Vegas judg... er, "talent scouts" were similarly unaware of their true status.
"Last Comic Standing" executive producer Barry Katz represents both Ant and another of the 10 LCS housemates, Gary Gulman, but Katz says he recused himself from the selection process. According to “Polar”:
Why wasn’t Dave Mordal, probably the funniest houseguest from last season, not invited to “judge”? “Polar” says:
“Polar” offers another not-very-scandalous piece of “LCS” trivia, about Triana the stripper:
What went on inside the house? “Polar” offers some hints there too:
“LCS” producer-host Jay Mohr has a pretty good piece of nonfiction on the bookstands right now that offers a backstage view of his two years aboard “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s hope he took good notes during this gig; Mohr knows good comedy and one senses he’ll have a lot to say someday.
9 p.m. Tuesday. NBC.
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
