Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
I’m only going to Comic-Con for one day this year, and I’m only going for one reason. From 1:30 to 3:00 in Room 20 (wherever that is), there’s a MASTERS OF HORROR panel, and I thought that would be where episode titles and cast details finally started to leak.
Nope.
Today, VARIETY ran a giant insert that came bundled with each issue that was devoted entirely to the series. It’s pretty groovy, and there are details about each of the 13 episodes in the first season, including lots of stuff I hadn’t heard yet.
I’ve been real reluctant to spill any of the details of the series that I’ve heard here on the site, just because the producers didn’t hire me as a publicist. After this thing, though, it seems like fair game to run the descriptions and titles of each episode. I’m going to use the exact synopses that they ran in the magazine, even for my own episode, and I’ll be dropping in a few comments in blue text between the descriptions.
”Jenifer,” dir. Dario Argento
Screenplay by Steven Weber
Based on the classic comic book written by Bruce Jones and illustrated by Bernie Wrightson, “Jenifer” is the shocking tale of a modern-day Lolita who, through her Siren-like powers, ultimately destroys the bodies and souls of all men unfortunate enough to cross her path. After police officer Frank (Steven Weber) saves her life, he adopts her, only to learn that no good deed goes unpunished. “Jenifer” is a twisted and terrifying tale with a horrific twist that warns us all to be careful of what we bring into our homes.
I’ve never read the Jones/Wrightson comic, but I’ve heard that this one is really wild. I love Argento, and I regret not going up to Vancouver to try and see him work. When is he ever going to shoot something on this continent again?
”Cigarette Burns,” dir. John Carpenter
Screenplay by Drew McWeeny & Scott Swan
Jimmy Sweetman knows how to find rare film prints. However, nothing could prepare him for the daunting search for LA FIN DU MONDE, a film allegedly shown only once and rumored to have driven its audience into a murderous frenzy before the theater mysteriously erupted in flames. Working for a shadowy patron, Jimmy’s increasingly obsessive investigation becomes nightmarish and deadly. Finally he discovers LA FIN DU MONDE’s infamy is well deserved. This supernatural CHINATOWN is a chilling look at the power of cinema and the lengths to which we will go to satiate our private demons.
Hey, I’d like to see that! Sounds pretty good to me. They started filming this one on the 6th of July, and John’s hard at work on it right now in Vancouver. Norman Reedus (BOONDOCK SAINTS, BLADE II) is starring as Sweetman, and my co-author got a chance to go up to watch them shoot some of it. He seemed real happy when he got back, too.
”Pick Me Up,” dir. Larry Cohen
Screenplay by David J. Schow
Two urban legends meet on a desolate roadside when Wheeler, a serial killer who butchers hitchhikers, offers a ride to Walker, a hitchhiker who slaughters any driver unlucky enough to offer him a ride. Caught in their deadly game of cat-and-mouse is a young woman who must choose her ally carefully or end up another notch on a killer’s bloody belt.
I didn’t realize Cohen was working from someone else’s script. He’s such a good writer that I’m surprised. Of course, Schow’s pretty spiffy in his own right, and it’s a really clever high-concept. Curious to see who they cast as the two killers.
”Incident On And Off A Mountain Road,” dir. Don Coscarelli
Screenplay by Don Coscarelli & Stephen Romano
Based on Joe R. Lansdale’s short story of the same title, this film pits Ellen (Bree Turner), a seemingly defenseless young woman, against Moonface, a deformed and demented serial killer. As the story cuts back and forth in time, we slowly discover that our heroine is not as helpless or as innocent as she initially seems. Trained by her abusive husband, Bruce (Ethan Embry), to be a survivalist, instructed to use any and every available object as a weapon in a time of need, Ellen gets to test the real-life application of these lessons. Ultimately, chained to the floor of Moonface’s horrific cabin with a most unsavory roommate (Anghus Scrimm), she races against the clock to free herself before she meets a grisly fate. This gritty film pits a strong female protagonist against evil incarnate.
I’m intensely curious. Coscarelli struck gold with his last Lansdale adaptation, and this one’s supposed to be dark, dark, dark. I’m also in awe of Don for shooting a film that takes place almost entirely at night on a ten day schedule during the summer in Canada. That’s balls.
”Haeckel’s Tale,” dir. Roger Corman
Screenplay by Mick Garris
When Ernest Haeckel seeks shelter from the wilderness in a secluded cabin in the New England countryside, he is given one explicit instruction: no matter what he hears, he cannot go outside. As the cries of an unseen baby intermix with horrifying guttural moans, Haeckel disobeys his host and becomes embroiled in an orgy of the undead. Based on Clive Barker’s short story, “Haeckel’s Tale” is a sexually charged campfire story with a horrifying twist.
Dudes... Roger Corman is directing this. That’s just plain cool. And I’m not familiar with the short story by Clive, but it sounds like a good one.
”Homecoming,” dir. Joe Dante
Screenplay by Sam Hamm
Terror and scandal grip the nation when the media discovers that the living dead have swayed the presidential election. This adaptation of Dale Bailey’s award-winning short story “Death & Suffrage” blends zombie horror and contemporary political satire with chilling results.
Dante’s never done zombies before, and I’m willing to bet his take on this classic monster won’t be like any other zombies we’ve seen before. Sounds groovy.
”Chocolate,” dir/scr. Mick Garris
Jamie (Henry Thomas), a newly divorced man who creates artificial flavors for the food industry, suddenly and inexplicably starts to experience brief and random flashes from someone – and somewhere – unknown: sight, sound, smell, touch. Learning that he’s experiencing life through the senses of a mysterious woman, he begins to fall in love with her without having met her. Eventually, he discovers a horrifying secret that binds him inexorably with the perfect woman in an erotic, horrifying dance of death.
Mick’s carried this one around for a lot of years. I remember reading his feature-length version of the story, FLESH & FANTASY, at least ten years ago. I know how that is... to have a story that you keep trying to find the right venue for. I’m glad to see him working with Henry Thomas again, who he directed as young Norman Bates in PSYCHO 4. Should be interesting to see Thomas all growed up in this one.
”Dreams In The Witch-House,” dir. Stuart Gordon
Screenplay by Stuart Gordon & Dennis Paoli
Stuart Gordon presents his fifth adaptation of a tale of terror from horror master H.P. Lovecraft. Walter Gilman (Ezra Godden), a college student studying interdimensional string theory, rents a garret in a run-down building in the old New England town of Arkham. He is haunted by terrifying nightmares in which he is visited by a 17th-century witch and her familiar, a rat with a human face. He begins to realize that these are not dreams at all and that diabolical forces are gathering to sacrifice his neighbor’s infant. As Walter struggles to prevent this, it becomes less clear if he will save the child or become its unwitting murderer himself.
Stuart Gordon. Lovecraft. ‘Nuff said.
”Dance Of The Dead,” dir. Tobe Hooper
Screenplay by Richard Christian Matheson
Based on Richard Matheson’s celebrated short story, “Dance Of The Dead” depicts a post-apocalyptic dystopia wherein reanimated corpses of former friends and enemies dance on stage for the entertainment of the few who survived a nuclear holocaust. Too naive and wholesome for her own good, Peggy embarks on her first double-date with a slick upperclassman. Her nervous fits of laughter quickly turn to panicked screams as she learns the truth of the dangerous world outside her mother’s protective cloister, and the sacrifices that were made in order to guarantee her survival. Intelligent, haunting, and just as politically relevant as when it was first published in 1954, “Dance Of The Dead” will be a film to be remembered.
The idea of Richard Christian Matheson adapting one of his father’s best-known stories is exciting enough, but the notion of putting really potent material like this into Tobe Hooper’s hands makes me happy. Hooper’s a good guy, and I believe he gets a bum rap a lot of the time. Here’s hoping he makes a great episode.
”Deer Woman,” dir. John Landis
Screenplay by Max Landis & John Landis
A series of bizarre murders leads cynical detective Dwight Faraday (Brian Benben) to suspect that an ancient Native American mythological creature is real in this sexually charged tale of seduction and death.
The idea of Landis and Benben making a horror film together just cracks me up. You’ve come a long way from DREAM ON, guys. Landis may not be best known for his horror films, but you can’t deny him the long-lasting power of AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (I’ve got the beautiful Sota Toys sitting above my desk right now), and I’m dying to see what he did with this one.
”Fair Haired Child,” dir. William Malone
Screenplay by Matt Greenburg
Tara, a lonely 13-year-old outcast, is kidnapped by a strange couple and locked in the basement with their 13-year-old son, Johnny. Despite the fact that he is kind and sensitive, Johnny keeps a terrible secret. These two children form a special bond to find a way to battle a curse and survive the night.
I know the least about this episode, but I like the premise. The last two episodes, directed by Takahi Miike and George Romero, weren’t described in the magazine. I know that Miike is the only one of the filmmakers who is shooting his episode somewhere other than Vancouver, and I think Sean Hood actually wrote the episode that Romero’s going to shoot, but I couldn’t swear to it.
Whatever the case, I wanted to finally be able to whet your appetites with descriptions of what you can expect when the series premieres on Showtime this October. Even if I wasn’t involved with the show, I’d be excited. This much horror talent in one place, all working without any sort of ratings restrictions, telling one-hour stories... well, it pretty much appeals to everything I like as a horror fan. I just picked up the box set of Season One for TALES FROM THE CRYPT, and there are several episodes in that first batch that I like a lot, particularly the Walter Hill one. This series feels like it’s a lot less campy and E.C. flavored than that one was, and I hope there’s something for everyone in the line-up.
I may be headed up to Vancouver for the last two days of the shoot next week, and if I go, I’ll try to get clearance to post some stories and pictures here when I get back. In the meantime, I have to go finish my PROMEDIO ROJO review and then get some sleep. Toshiro’s been sitting here helping me update all night between crying jags and the pants pooping, and he’s starting to look as sleepy as I feel. It might be naptime for both of us soon. Until then...
"Moriarty" out.
