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Bruce Willis To Direct A Movie (He'll Star In It, Too)!! Sounds Like Has All Kindsa Funky Stuff In It...

Merrick here...
The Mighty Bruce is set to direct for the first time per THIS STORY in the Shreveport Times. While little was revealed about the film via the article linked above, the guys over at CHUD found the following synopsis at AFM Films:
At age seventeen, JOAN loses her virginity. At age 21, she loses her virtue. At age 25, she loses her vices. Or did she lose nothing .... but her mind? THREE STORIES ABOUT JOAN interweaves the three phases of a young womans struggle to retain her faith in a love borne out of need, destroyed by a madness, and restored by a ghost. Bruce Willis character is the center of Joans life. He is egocentric, paranoid, tender, and brutal and madly in love with the Joan he wants her to be. He is also her father. THREE STORIES ABOUT JOAN is a tautly structured fable that weaves in the surreal with the real, the supernatural with the unnatural, and the triumph of young love in all its exhaltation, and its desperation. And it is brilliant in its deception, as nothing ever is what it appears to be.
The project will star Willis, Owen Wilson, and and a Culkin (Kieran I think it is). If one of them is playing Joan, this is gonna rock.

Readers Talkback
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  • September 17, 2008 12:25 AM CST

    First

    by Nite Owl III

    First

  • September 17, 2008 12:27 AM CST

    Campbell

    by boardbrtn

    I thought it was meaning Bruce Campbell

  • September 17, 2008 12:29 AM CST

    i cant take my eyes off

    by Nite Owl III

    all the mistakes in the title

  • September 17, 2008 12:31 AM CST

    not that im perfect or anything

    by Nite Owl III

    but c'mon. you forgot 2 whole letters in the mans name and didnt close the parenthesis

  • September 17, 2008 12:31 AM CST

    what the hell?

    by BadMrWonka

    I have no idea what the hell this is going to be about...

  • September 17, 2008 12:31 AM CST

    or did you

    by Nite Owl III

    thank god i double check before i go bashing a mans parenthesis

  • September 17, 2008 12:36 AM CST

    But, can he come back for his Q & A?

    by The Dum Guy

    Really, can he come back and answer all those burning questions (he never said who'd win in their prime, Arnold or Stallone).

    Oh, well, I guess he can use that (if he does do it) for another DVD/Blu-Ray extra on the disc.

  • September 17, 2008 12:39 AM CST

    There'll be a Q&A...

    by MaxTheSilent

    ...until the move actually makes money. Then he'll drop us like a bad habit. That's what happened with DH:4. "I don't need nerds anymore, I've got dumb people going to see my crappy sequel!"

  • September 17, 2008 12:50 AM CST

    If a male is playing Joan, this will rock?

    by V'Shael

    It makes no sense.

  • September 17, 2008 1:01 AM CST

    er...what? Hes the ghost-father whose in love with his daughter?

    by Mike_D

    wtf?

  • September 17, 2008 1:07 AM CST

    Hudson Hawk II

    by otm shank

    ?

  • September 17, 2008 1:14 AM CST

    Gay softporn rocks Merrick's world?

    by MisterE

    ?

  • September 17, 2008 1:29 AM CST

    I read that synopsis three times

    by Xiphos_2

    And all I got out of it was Bruce wants to nail his daughter Joan? and that his character is nuts or something? Anybody have a clue as to what this is about?

  • September 17, 2008 1:30 AM CST

    it better be kieran culkin playing Joan

    by Holodigm

    Thor knows we need more Culkins dressing up in drag

  • September 17, 2008 1:33 AM CST

    Can't help but think about his kids running around

    by GQtaste

    Hollywood partying like rock stars when it comes to this story. Knowing whats her face is out there fucking, sucking, snorting anything that comes her way. Rumer I think her name is cause there is two other ones that are his children.

  • September 17, 2008 1:56 AM CST

    my head is spinning,

    by frankenfickle

    someone make sense of this.

  • September 17, 2008 3:40 AM CST

    Poorly written article

    by Madines Sideshed

    ....if Willis or one of the other two guys plays Willis' daughter it will rock? What the fuck are you talking about? Can we get someone in here to tell us the real story. This is a fucking shambles.

  • September 17, 2008 3:59 AM CST

    we need walter b

    by Prossor

    to come back here and explain to us why he's into gay softcore porn and pedophile daughter incest but MORE IMPORTANTLY apologize for that movie where he looks like a chimo patient flying around in harriers and having the flame war with the evil guy in the webcam.

  • September 17, 2008 5:06 AM CST

    Is Merrick on drugs? Is that why everything's looking "funky" ?

    by V'Shael

    Seriously dude, sober the fuck up and learn to speak English.

  • September 17, 2008 5:19 AM CST

    Report from IMDB on who's playing Joan:

    by Chief Redcock

    Gus Van Rant

  • September 17, 2008 5:51 AM CST

    Hmm,Sounds bad. Just make Hudson Hawk 2

    by pokadoo

    ...while Danny Aiello's still alive(Assuming he is).

  • September 17, 2008 6:54 AM CST

    BRUUUUCA WILLIS

    by The Amazing G

    will be he be in Willis Space? (lol Hellsing reference)

  • September 17, 2008 7:07 AM CST

    and and

    by Dazzler69

    Because it's needed twice for a "Culkin".

  • September 17, 2008 7:08 AM CST

    That'll Be Tricky for a Novice Director

    by cowboyone

    Dunno. Not sold.

  • September 17, 2008 8:39 AM CST

    ugh

    by elkylos

    I was intrigued until the name Owen Wilson appeared.

  • September 17, 2008 8:40 AM CST

    it was high time he did so!

    by cifra

    Hudson Hawk would have been way better if he had total creative control, imho... and I love it already! Sooo underrated!

  • September 17, 2008 9:07 AM CST

    I've got an idea

    by Abominable Snowcone

    DI5 H5RD

  • September 17, 2008 9:38 AM CST

    How about a report on The Surrogates

    by kafka07

    My friends were extras in it, so I am biased.

  • September 17, 2008 9:51 AM CST

    2 Hudson 2 Hawk

    by Dr Gregory House

  • September 17, 2008 10:45 AM CST

    WTF? man

    by dioxholster

    what the hell is this movie about? fuck the guy who wrote it. and what is up with the ghosts? is bruce willis making a comeback as a ghost? and why does he want to nail his daughter? or is this movie featuring alternate universes where people have many roles that tamper with their fuckometers, if that makes any sense.

  • September 17, 2008 10:47 AM CST

    Something tells me he'll be here doing Q&A soon

    by ricarleite

    Is he on the phone already, Harry?

  • September 17, 2008 10:51 AM CST

    Joan sounds like ur typical LA girl

    by dioxholster

    so whats different here is the freaky horny ghost, who is also a father figure. wait is this Ghostbusters 3?

  • September 17, 2008 11:10 AM CST

    Elkylos

    by wontyouletmeknow.

    Man, have you seen 'The Darjeeling Limited'? It's very good, albeit sometimes pretentious because of the strange Jason Schwartzman short at the beginning. Owen Wilson is fantastic, and I truthfully say, I never thought those words would flow from my fingertips. Check it out, man.

  • September 17, 2008 11:30 AM CST

    No more Q+A for him. He dumped us, remember?

    by ArcadianDS

    If AICN does another Q+A for Bruce Willis, then they're fully exposed whores. He used AICN as his starter wife, and once he had enough money made on his movie, he abruptly canceled all contact and participation with AICN. He's a phony and AICN should tell him, 'get lost baldy' and let his movie sink like the concrete turd that it is.

  • September 17, 2008 12:01 PM CST

    Walter B, Where Ar't Thou?

    by Spandau Belly

    He's lurking somewhere in the talkback! Watching, waiting, playing us like a game!

  • September 17, 2008 12:30 PM CST

    You guys do realize that...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...LFoDH was actually a sequel to a mutant juice combination of '16 blocks' and 'Hostage' only without corrupt cops and without Walter's real daughter. I like Wiseman's Underworld series even if most here don't but LFoDH is not remotely a 'John f'kin McLane' movie! We all know the reasons it sucked...(although Maggie Q is an added super bonus with tons of potnetial...but no, she's a 'dead asian hooker bitch' in LFoDH. Assholes. And what the fuck does 'Live Free' have to do with anything other than giving a distant middle finger to Superman Lives? Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion...I ate like 40 pieces of cinnamon toast and was practically possessed at the time)

    WalterB as director? Sounds bad but I'd have to see it to know it...

  • September 17, 2008 12:44 PM CST

    Yeah, Walter B. fucked us over.

    by GQtaste

    He talked the talk after Sly told him the scope but just gave us a little taste, if anything at all. Basically came on here one night and fought w/ a bunch of folks over who he was and how 'great' Die Hard 4 was gonna be. And this nepotism for his kid is atrocious. Johnny Voight never went to the lengths that Bruno has gone to get his kid into the film business. And look how Angie repaid him. If her daddy wasn't John V. she'd be a waitress or a high class pro in L.A. And she won't even speak to him for the last several years. Bytheway, Jolie is her middle name. She took the Nic Cage route and didn't want the 'baggage' that went from coming from a famous family. Of course everybody in Hollywood knew who they both were. I can see it now, the stars of the future. Zoe Kravitz, Will Smiths kid, and Rumer Willis just to name a few.

  • September 17, 2008 1:00 PM CST

    It should have a cameo from Mori...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    As a guy who refuses to acknowledge the BW character, but insists he is a fake...

  • September 17, 2008 1:16 PM CST

    Bologna marker screwdriver...

    by Hugh G Rekshun

    ...and also: Tissue fan heartburn telephone. Notepad.

  • September 17, 2008 1:18 PM CST

    GHOST? Still infatuated with THE SIX SENSE, Bruno?

    by RenoReno

    I know you liked working in that movie a lot, but doing a similar thing dont think is the best idea.

  • September 17, 2008 1:55 PM CST

    vanity project

    by mrbong

  • September 17, 2008 2:16 PM CST

    Fuck Walter B, we need Sly to come back...

    by C Legion

    and do a Q&A for "Rambo V".

    Stallone was a class act, Bruce blew his chance to connect with us.

  • September 17, 2008 2:35 PM CST

    I am sure he can direct as good as he sings.

    by disfigurehead

  • September 17, 2008 2:38 PM CST

    Angelina Jolie would never have been a waitress.

    by V'Shael

    But as a high class ho, I think she'd have made more money than god.

  • September 17, 2008 5:31 PM CST

    Wally B make Moovie!

    by FILMFUNK

    sounds weird about a girl thing what!?

  • September 17, 2008 6:29 PM CST

    Vadge: The Movie

    by The Winged Doucheman

    Sure sounds like it.

  • September 17, 2008 8:32 PM CST

    Owen Wilson will be playing "Owen Wilson".

    by F-18

    Unless he learns to....you know.... "act" before making this movie.

  • September 18, 2008 7:04 AM CST

    BEST QUESTION ASKED OF SLY

    by Chief Redcock

    And I quoth noted sage Gus Van Rant some two years ago: "Have you ever given Frank Stallone a blumpkin?"

  • September 18, 2008 9:15 AM CST

    Clint Howard just called

    by ArcadianDS

    wants to know if he can direct your home movies. Promises 16 weeks of talkbacks.

  • September 18, 2008 2:20 PM CST

    Bruce where art thou?

    by Charlie_Allnut

    Yet another action star who has lost his rudder, and has been wandering aimlessly making bad movies for about 10 years. Bruce needs to start doing similar movies to Bogart in his later years...I could see him as the grizzled noir detective, or in movies like High Sierra or The African Queen.